From the beginning of love to a person is good, is the cheapest pay, you have value, your payment will be taken seriously. If you are attractive, the other party will be willing to take responsibility for you and pay for you. What is the beginning of love? It has always been by the good impression of appearance and personality and aroused the strong psychological desire of emotional proximity to each other. So the answer is very clear, attractiveness is the valuable part of your body, whether it is physical attractiveness or personality attractiveness. So nothing happens for no reason, including emotions. Fall in love at first sight, often is to see the color, as Zhang Ailing’s pen has a sentence, very can summarize this thing: “When a man longs for a woman’s body, he cares about her soul, he lies to himself that he fell in love with her soul. Only after he had captured her body could he forget her soul.”
How can the attraction between men and women be understood? Use the value you have to meet the needs of the other party, and naturally, there is a desire to approach and establish a relationship. The relationship between people, in essence, the link is two words: contact. Because there is a connection, there is a relationship. This connection is internal, not just a meeting and a chat. Having contacts first and then maintaining good contacts is also an exchange in nature. Your value part can provide the value part for the other party, but it is not necessarily what the other party needs and yearns for, and it is also in vain. The truth is that, no matter how good you are, no matter how excellent you are, you can only attract the people who can be attracted to you. Of course, we often explain this situation as fate.
There is a saying that speaks to the essence of marriage: “The essence of marriage includes: sexual value, economic value, emotional value. Look at what each has to offer, whether your value is increasing or decreasing over time, and how subplaceable it is.” So you must believe that the maintenance of marriage, never relies on two words: value. What does value mean? The needs of the other person. In essence, the relationship between husband and wife is a relationship of mutual need. You have value, and the value of the partner’s need, and the partner naturally needs you, forms a dependence from the long-term need, and is willing to go down with you. No more quarrels, no more disagreements, no more suffering, your body needs a partner, he (she) will live with you, this is the main reason to live with you. One can never do something or remain positive about a certain thing or behavior without self-awareness, feelings, and needs. So the reason for living with you, seemingly irrelevant, is an account of the “inner self”. The truth is very simple, a person who needs you, how can they leave you?
Not leaving, does not mean that marriage life is temperature, but to ensure the core of the relationship. There is no temperature, the next thing to see two people getting along, or seeing a value to provide, whether there is tolerance, whether there is acceptance, whether there is understanding, whether there is love, and so on. Life value is the basis, including economic value, physiological value, responsibility value, and so on, and then emotional value, emotional value, and psychological value play the role of icing on the cake, giving the temperature of the relationship. Relationships also need to be supported by strength. That doesn’t mean, of course, that you can meet your partner’s needs well, that there won’t be a conflict between the two of you, the content of the relationship and the nature of the relationship are different things. So marriage still needs to be managed, and the premise of the operation is that the foundation is strong.
Why do couples divorce? The reasons are different, but that’s just the appearance. The truth is three things: 1. You have value, but your value is not my need. When the passion fades, into the most realistic life, or as you grow older, your mood changes, and your partner does not provide you with the value you need right now. 2, no value to provide, not to figure out their needs, or can figure to, but very few, compared with the other party to bring their suffering and pressure, or choose the other party’s life pressure, are not proportional. 3, one side is greedy, endless desire, figure to want more. Or you meet someone else who can better meet your needs. The contradiction between the three views, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the emotional discord are the appearances, the reasons for reasonable divorce, or the introduction of divorce.
Why do couples divorce? The reasons are different, but that’s just the appearance. The truth is three things: 1. You have value, but your value is not my need. When the passion fades, into the most realistic life, or as you grow older, your mood changes, and your partner does not provide you with the value you need right now. 2, no value to provide, not to figure out their needs, or can figure to, but very few, compared with the other party to bring their suffering and pressure, or choose the other party’s life pressure, are not proportional. 3. One party is not greedy enough to want A. When the nature of marriage uses the word “fungible”, it has been informed that this is a very realistic long-distance run, so we cannot slack off. Perhaps no one is irreplaceable, but there is no better choice for the time being. Perhaps it can not be called reality, but normal, reasonable, and natural human nature, although it can not be generalized. In the matter of need, it is mutual. We can not only think of our own needs but ignore the interests of each other. Because of the problem of interest matching, it is very difficult to test the wisdom, calmness, and conscience of the husband and wife. Of course, with time, a most precious and special feeling will indeed occur between the husband and wife. In turn, how did this most precious and special feeling happen? In the beginning.
Feelings are full of variability, only the value will always stand on its feet, which is also the main reason for each other to say “I am willing” again and again after the quarrel. According to the needs of the other party, the needs of life, the needs of the relationship, and better to cultivate themselves, exercise themselves, this direction of effort is not wrong. Less emotional kidnapping and questioning, such as I am so good to you, I usually how to treat you, after all, these are just what you think. The relationship and life of two people are never decided by their ideas and beliefs. Only by understanding each other and demanding themselves can they be long-term. If the couple is in a cooperative relationship, it does not mean that you tie me, I tie you, it does not mean that you belong to me, I belong to you, and the willingness to cooperate is the king.