Why do couples get worse after having children? Three reasons

The simplest and most common family is generally a family of three, parents and children, who can be happy. For newly married couples, whether to have children and when to have children, is placed on the first question. However, many young couples do not realize that the arrival of children will also usher in a large period of problems, in addition to being busy with the trivia of children, sometimes, it will also have a bad impact on the relationship of the couple. In a social survey in the United States, 92 percent of people said that marital conflict gradually increased after the birth of a child. By the second year after having a child, 25 percent of couples are in trouble. This does not include separations and divorces. Why do couples get worse after having children? How do you solve this problem? Check it out below.

01. Division of labor. Newly married couples are generally in the honeymoon period, in the sweet life, the basics will not expose the differences between the two sides, such as personality, three views, etc., coupled with just married, a little friction, will quickly subside. But generally in the relationship, the honeymoon period is followed by the run-in period. The run-in period is often lived together for some time, a year or a few years, a long time to get along with the consumption of passion, coupled with the understanding of each other, only then began to dislike each other. However, with the birth of children, trivia also comes, more cooperation between husband and wife, more detailed division of labor, and more trigger points for contradiction.

02. Physical problems.

After giving birth, women have a period of emotional ups and downs due to hormonal disorders. Sometimes they show anxiety and impatience, while others are depressed, easily sad, and even depressed.

The wife’s emotional problems, generally need the husband to accommodate, but not all people have this awareness.

03. Communication problems. Parents of school-age children are less depressed and stressed than their infant counterparts, but marital satisfaction has declined for most couples. After the birth of a child, the parent’s focus usually shifts from the partner to the child, especially the mother. As a result, the conflicts generated during the parenting period are not solved in time, but instead, the attention is diverted to the children, and the relationship between the couple falls into the cold again.
The key to marital satisfaction is how couples manage the decision-making process. When a child is born, arguments will only create more problems and differences of opinion. In the parenting stage, couples can be said to be partners, and cooperation and respect can determine the success or failure of the marriage. For partners, it is instinctive that the other party’s anger will cause us to counterattack, but it is also common sense that a counterattack will cause greater contradiction. Many people start to regret it after an argument: “Oh, I knew she was in a bad mood just after giving birth, I should have let her.” “Or” I’m so sorry that I lost control again.” With the benefit of hindsight, the damage has already been done to the relationship, and it’s time to make amends, not just self-confession.

If you want to improve your relationship, you can try to do this.

1. Work through problems with your partner when you’re calm. Often after a couple of fights, they don’t want to bring it up again. But if you don’t, it can linger and resentment can build up.

2. If you argue in front of your children, tell them later that you resolved the disagreement.

3. Make time for your relationship. After the kids are asleep, or if you have your hands free, spend time with your partner as a couple. What it was like when it was in love, and what it can be now. In the management of marriage, it is often small changes that lead to big changes.

4. Hug your partner. In the early months after childbirth, couples rarely have intimate contact with each other. To be honest, it’s not necessary. The children should be brought, and so should the partner. You can say to your partner, “I’m tired from hugging the baby, but I’d love to hug you.” This allows you to spend more intimate time together.

Finally, I want to say that the purpose of marriage must be the relationship between husband and wife, love is happiness is sweet, and children are just by-products. No matter what period of your marriage, treat your partner as a lover, and you will never encounter a marital crisis.

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